easy e*

Receptionist Entry No. 9

An email.

From: [The Receptionist]
Sent: Thursday, June 26, 2008 9:16 AM
To: Beverly Hills
Subject: key faub

Hi Everyone,

If anyone took the key faub off my desk please return it.

Thank you.

[The Receptionist]

Faub? SRSLY? The way she wrote it, you’d think “faub” were a mythological character with human hands for hooves who roamed through the forest in his spare time, specializing in archery. Like she had some sort of miniature clay figure on her desk on which she hung the bathroom keys and someone had a sick idea for a joke by ripping it off solely to make The Receptionist crazy.

Because God knows how she has to guard the Key Faub.

The Receptionist Entry No. 7

Fact: Receptionist worships Bob Dylan.

Fact: Receptionist worships Hillary Rodham Clinton.

Fact: Bob Dylan has endorsed Barack Hussein Obama.

In the communitive interests of observing the forces of neuropsychology exploding inside The Receptionist’s head, my co-worker forwarded the above link to her. The resulting tirade followed (and, my usage of the word “tirade” is in fact an understatement):

“I read this!! Even geniuses can be wrong!! I voted for Hillary because she’s a woman and a woman should be President!! Why don’t you like her??”

“I just see her as a political machine, and I really don’t want that machine to be President.”

“No, she’s not.”

…

“Yes, she is.”

“No she’s not.”

…

“Yes she is.”

“No she’s not .”

…

Silence.

The Receptionist: “You’re a chauvinist!!”

Receptionist Entry No. 5

An email.

From: [Receptionist]
To: All [Company] Personnel

Just wanted to let you know that a broker left their Blueberry Stylist at the reception desk. If you’re missing yours, you can come by and pick it up.

Thanks,
[Receptionist]