easy e*

Receptionist Entry No. 17

A client called for his broker twice after he had left the workplace yesterday.  The Receptionist answered both times and let that particular broker know that the client was a little upset that he did not return the call the same day.

He asks The Recepionist what time the client called so he’d have an idea when he called the client back. 

The Receptionist said, “Well, first he called a little bit earlier, and then he called again later.”

Receptionist Entry No. 15

Co-worker #2 walks through the lobby while The Receptionist is on the computer, doing some online shoe shopping.

[Co-worker #2], can you help me out? I wanna buy these shoes and I’m a six-and-half. So, which one would I pick from this size thing [drop-down menu] here? Six? Six-point-five? Or seven?

Receptionist Entry No. 13

11AM

The Receptionist runs up to me and my co-worker/girlfriend Chris with a large-sized Hustler shopping bag filled with women’s sweats. She sifts through it as she shows us the goods.

“Look guys!! I got each of these for $5 over at the Larry Flynt building!! Isn’t that a great deal?? And look - they’re so cute!! Just go over there and go downstairs and they’re selling all these cheap, cute clothes!!”

Yes, we work about a couple blocks away from the Larry Flynt building. I politely say what a great deal she got - but the fact of the matter is, I don’t really need more sweats that I won’t ever wear. I also noticed that the naked girl logo and “Hustler” was written on them. Which was fine, if you really needed sweats.

3PM

The Receptionist comes over to the bottom of the stairs leading up to my cubicle and calls me. I come down.

“Esther!! Oh my God - now I know why you were totally disgusted. [Oops. I guess she saw that face.] I have to tell you - when I went over there I wasn’t wearing my glasses so I didn’t even see the naked girl or Hustler written all over them!!”

Receptionist Entry No. 12

As I’m walking through the lobby, The Receptionist asks me, “Esther, you don’t happen to know what the market closed on today, do you?” Apparently, she has a random client on hold.

“Something like 10,6[00] or 10,7[00]. Why don’t you look it up?”

“I don’t know how.”

“It’s on the first page of our intranet.”

She froze. “I don’t know how to look it up.”

“Open up a browser. Open up your Internet Explorer.”

“What?”

So I go over there and click on the infamous “e” with the little orbit around it. I point out the chart that shows the day’s Dow, S&P and NASDAQ on the top of our intranet page. I point at it, saying, “There.”

“Oh thanks.”

By the way, I work at a brokerage firm.

By the way, The Receptionist has worked at said brokerage firm for about 4 years.

By the way, that plasma TV behind her? It’s always tuned to CNBC.

SAD.

Receptionist Entry No. 10

The Receptionist was consoling a client in the lobby whose father had just recently passed away.

“Aw, [Mr. Jones], I am so sorry. I know what you’re going through. When my dog died I thought I was never going to get over it!!”

Receptionist Entry No. 9

An email.

From: [The Receptionist]
Sent: Thursday, June 26, 2008 9:16 AM
To: Beverly Hills
Subject: key faub

Hi Everyone,

If anyone took the key faub off my desk please return it.

Thank you.

[The Receptionist]

Faub? SRSLY? The way she wrote it, you’d think “faub” were a mythological character with human hands for hooves who roamed through the forest in his spare time, specializing in archery. Like she had some sort of miniature clay figure on her desk on which she hung the bathroom keys and someone had a sick idea for a joke by ripping it off solely to make The Receptionist crazy.

Because God knows how she has to guard the Key Faub.